Bad Weekend.

It has been a horrible couple of weeks but this weekend especially has been difficult. Luke fell in the bathtub and hit the spout chipping his front tooth, poor baby. Then on Sunday afternoon Luke fell down a flight of stairs...he wasn't injured just really shaken.

I called in sick to work today because Luke had been up all night screaming, So I'll need to work 10 hour days the rest of the week to meet my required hours.

Financially I'm struggling, I have been trying to save up an Emergency fund but things keep coming up that require me to dip in that little bit of savings I have built up, ugh...I just need a little break here.

Aside from his recent injuries Luke is doing well, talking up a storm saying things like ,"Juice" when he wants a drink and "Teeth" when he wants to brush his teeth (For some odd reason Luke loves brushing his teeth.) He's also starting to combine word into short sentences, er well phrases, like "Go Walk?" Its so cute and also very helpful to know exactly what he wants, instead of guessing.

He's also picked up this habit of when he wants something, he'll grab your hand and guide you to whatever he wants.

Ch..ch..changes!

I was recently moved from the Collections Department where I've worked since April of 2008 to Student Loans, right now it's a temporary position that will last 2 weeks but according to my new temporary supervisor it could be stretched out even longer, maybe even permanently! So far I really like Student Loans, there is only 4 hours of required phone time and unlimited overtime even when the other departments are reducing hours. I really would like to move departments if they let me.

Stressed to the max.

I am flipping out. My poor little mind is working in overrdrive figuring out how on earth I am going to meet all of my financial obligations. My employer has started reducing hours for most employees, so I am really struggling to figure out how I will pay my bills. I have done the math and I will have just enough to pay my bills but I will only have about $24 left to my name after they are paid. SO FAR, reduced hours are only going to last 2 months, so 4 pay periods, but really who knows what is going to happen, ya know?

This whole situation has really brought home the fact I need an emergency fund, I know that if I had even a little cash in the bank I wouldn't be as freaked as I am right now. I consider myself an honorable person, I made a promise in the form of a legal contract to repay my debtors and to pay certain people for services rendered(cell phone, childcare) and the thought of not being able to pay them kills me. 

So far I have put my paychecks on tax exempt for the next 2 months, so that I can still afford to make all my payments and keep Luke's health insurance. I was going to cancel my cell service, and still might, but the Early Termination Fee is $215 so I'll have to save up and continue  pay the month bill until I can afford to make essentially a triple payment at which point I will have to look into either a prepaid cell phone or go completely cell-less.

Hopefully this truly is just a short term issue, I can survive short term but if it drags on...I won't make it.

Little Update

So I splurged a little bit and bought my FICO score, sad but true  you have to pay to find out your credit score, and I'm much better off than I thought.  With Transunion my FICO is 757 and with Equifax my score is 747, well within the "Excellent Credit" range. Yes my score could be higher, the highest possible is 850, however I have what is known as a "short file" meaning simply I haven't had credit very long but that makes since as I am only 22 years old. I am definitely genuinely excited by this.

I am more commited to building up my savings than ever, I am determined to be a homeowner by the time I am 30 years old. Ideally I'd like to have my own place by the time Luke is in Kindergarten but I will give myself a bigger window so that I don't feel to let down if it doesn't happen by then. 

According to my calculations I can have a 20% down payment (roughly $40,000) saved within 6 years if I just stick to my guns.

More.

I am determined to get myself out of this financial rut I have been in for the past month or so. I have set up a "high yield" savings account so that I can have my savings out of sight and out of mind because I always end up using what ever small amount I put into my CU savings account. 

My hope is that by depositing just $25 per paycheck and having my future tax refunds deposited there that I can save a sizeable down payment for a house by the time Luke is 5 years old (6 at the latest). I really have to learn to put my ultimate long term goals ahead of what I want here  and now. I realized yesterday that I will never reach that goal if I don't work toward it now.  

I am also working toward paying down my debt including my car loan, I only have one credit card of about $2500 and the car which is about $8400 so I should have them both paid in full in no more than 24 months. I really want a new car but I know that taking on more debt is just stupid and will only prevent me from reaching my ultimate goal of being a homeowner.

In my own childhood I watched my mother struggle with debt, she makes a lot of money but spends much more. I saw how harmful debt can be,yet I find my self making the same awful mistakes... justifying buying something when even in my heart I know that I shouldn't, that I cannot afford it. It stops now.

Getting on Track,

So I don't know where my money went, seriously. I paid off all of my CC's then decided to buy a laptop on my Discover card so I know why I'm in debt to them but I cannot account for why my checking account has been so low the last few pay periods..I haven't over drafted but I have gotten down to having only $6.00 in the week leading up to payday. Not fun. I have resolved to end this cycle here and now though. I am setting up a Balance Transfer from my MACU credit card to Discover so I can have just one bill instead of 2, easier for me to wrap my head around, and will be closing that account (MACU credit card) ASAP! Then I am going to be paying all of my bills bi-weekly (half each pay-period) so the payments are more manageable.  I have also heard that you pay less in Finance charges that  way, but even if I don't it will be nice just having a more manageable payment schedule.

Also, I opened a ING Direct High Yield Savings account, where I will have my direct deposit set up to  deposit $25 per payperiod. This is going to be my Emergency fund.. for times like now when things I should have anticipated sneak up on me at my most cash strapped moments. I figure I can have $425 saved up by the end of the year if I just keep it on auto-pilot with my direct deposit. Hopefully I can steadily increase the amount I contribute over time.

I don't like being broke, thankfully I can pay all of my bills but I just have very little to spare... enough to get gas to get to work and back.  That is going to change.

On another note, The recession is starting to hit home. My employer is now laying off employees and reducing hours for everyone else. It sucks but at least I have a job. 

Plan of attack.

I really just need to build up an E-fund, but that's difficult to do as I don't have many set expenses yet I always seem to be living paycheck to paycheck. I have the car payment $300/month and the cell phone about $120/ month. I have daycare which is 160 every 2 weeks but that would be null if I lost my job. I figure I spend about $100 on gas each month, I don't really track this though and I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER about what I spend on Groceries and the like. I guess that should be my first goal, track expenses and find out what I spend in each area on average each month. I also need to pay off my discover card and close my overdraft protection, so that I don't have to worry about accidentally spending more than I have.

More later.

Scared.

I have been sick this week, stay-in-bed all day wanna die sick. I missed 3 days of work because of this illness, thankfully I have PTO to cover my missed hours so I won't be thrown into financial crisis but I have missed a lot of work and I know my boss's are upset. I was supposed to work Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday..I called in for Wednesday and Thursday and thought I could handle working Saturday, I got all the way there when I realized I just.could.not.do.it, so I had to go explain to the coverage manager that I didn't feel well and needed to leave. I feel like such a fool I was there, in the department and early asking to leave. I just worry about getting fired, in such a turbulent economy one can't be to careful. All the way home I felt guilty and worried sick about what I would do if I lost my job due to missing so much work. I would have to cancel my Cell phone service, no big deal. But I would also have to surrender my car(i.e., have it voluntarily repossesed.) I really shouldn't be worried but that's never stopped me before. I am a good employee, usually on-time (I'd say 98% of the time I'm early.) so this worry is really pointless but I need to get my act together, have a plan of attack if Heaven-forbid I lost my job.

Icky-Sicky

First Luke, now me. We have the same thing,well we had the same thing, Luke is all better now and I just got it. I gotta say my tough little 14 month old took a lot better than I am, I'm miserable.

Angry

I just want to be angry. I haven't really gone out since my son was born, nowadays going out means a 1 hour lunch with a girlfriend, that's it. So for my 22nd birthday which is coming up on April 10th I asked my dad if he'd take Luke for a long weekend. Sure, no problem so we settled on April 24-28th and I pulled all the strings to get my Paid Time Off (PTO from here on out) approved. Well, tonight at family dinner I mentioned to my dad that I was able to get the PTO for that weekend. He was like "I'm going out of town that weekend." he didn't even remember our conversation, I was so shocked that I didn't even think to say "But, you said you'd take Luke that weekend???" so I'm just waiting for him to switch his calendar over to April and see where he wrotedown Luke on all of those days, which I watched him do when we discussed it almost a month ago!!!

I'm just upset, I worked so hard to get the PTO approved and was looking so forward to pretending to be a carefree 22 year old and now, as much as I love my son, I will be spending the entire weekend at home changing diapers and doing laundry( or some other mundane household task).

Oh well that's parenthood for ya.