Plan of attack.

I really just need to build up an E-fund, but that's difficult to do as I don't have many set expenses yet I always seem to be living paycheck to paycheck. I have the car payment $300/month and the cell phone about $120/ month. I have daycare which is 160 every 2 weeks but that would be null if I lost my job. I figure I spend about $100 on gas each month, I don't really track this though and I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER about what I spend on Groceries and the like. I guess that should be my first goal, track expenses and find out what I spend in each area on average each month. I also need to pay off my discover card and close my overdraft protection, so that I don't have to worry about accidentally spending more than I have.

More later.

Scared.

I have been sick this week, stay-in-bed all day wanna die sick. I missed 3 days of work because of this illness, thankfully I have PTO to cover my missed hours so I won't be thrown into financial crisis but I have missed a lot of work and I know my boss's are upset. I was supposed to work Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday..I called in for Wednesday and Thursday and thought I could handle working Saturday, I got all the way there when I realized I just.could.not.do.it, so I had to go explain to the coverage manager that I didn't feel well and needed to leave. I feel like such a fool I was there, in the department and early asking to leave. I just worry about getting fired, in such a turbulent economy one can't be to careful. All the way home I felt guilty and worried sick about what I would do if I lost my job due to missing so much work. I would have to cancel my Cell phone service, no big deal. But I would also have to surrender my car(i.e., have it voluntarily repossesed.) I really shouldn't be worried but that's never stopped me before. I am a good employee, usually on-time (I'd say 98% of the time I'm early.) so this worry is really pointless but I need to get my act together, have a plan of attack if Heaven-forbid I lost my job.

Icky-Sicky

First Luke, now me. We have the same thing,well we had the same thing, Luke is all better now and I just got it. I gotta say my tough little 14 month old took a lot better than I am, I'm miserable.

Angry

I just want to be angry. I haven't really gone out since my son was born, nowadays going out means a 1 hour lunch with a girlfriend, that's it. So for my 22nd birthday which is coming up on April 10th I asked my dad if he'd take Luke for a long weekend. Sure, no problem so we settled on April 24-28th and I pulled all the strings to get my Paid Time Off (PTO from here on out) approved. Well, tonight at family dinner I mentioned to my dad that I was able to get the PTO for that weekend. He was like "I'm going out of town that weekend." he didn't even remember our conversation, I was so shocked that I didn't even think to say "But, you said you'd take Luke that weekend???" so I'm just waiting for him to switch his calendar over to April and see where he wrotedown Luke on all of those days, which I watched him do when we discussed it almost a month ago!!!

I'm just upset, I worked so hard to get the PTO approved and was looking so forward to pretending to be a carefree 22 year old and now, as much as I love my son, I will be spending the entire weekend at home changing diapers and doing laundry( or some other mundane household task).

Oh well that's parenthood for ya.

Yet another reason to homeschool.

In California thousands of teachers are preparing for pink slip friday. The state is facing a massive shortfall in it's budget, with holding tax refunds and now ordering the department of education to take 8 billion dollars in budget cuts. What that means is that 26,000 teaching positions are being cut plus an additional 15,000 janitors and bus drivers! Classes that do not have a minimum of 36 students are being cut!! THIRTY SIX kids to one teacher, that is insane.

I still have a while before I have to really think about how Luke will be schooled but I guarantee if the situation is still the same, it won't be question at all.

Entries

I have so many entries written up in my notebook just waiting for me to sit down and type them out, not stupid little blurbs like my last few posts but real meaningful thoughts. I've been contemplating having another child, deciding whether to try and homeschool my son or pay for private school, work life, family.

So much has happened that I feel I need to get out of my system but I cannot find the time, Luke is so active now and needs so much supervision ( he's going through a klutzy phase) that sitting down and typing up 5 loooong posts is just not going to happen.

Baby Fever

I've got it bad. Several of my work friends are pregnant and seeing all of these pregnant women around me makes me yearn for a little kick inside my belly, I'll gladly take the painfully engorged breasts and weight gain if it means I get to have another little one.

Day Light Savings

Sucks.
I absolutetly hate this, it is about 5:50 and I'm not even close to ready to sleep. I normally get ready for bed, bathe or whatever and get Luke's stuff ready for the next day about this time. Except, my body isn't used to this.. I haven't adjusted yet.

I'll spend the next few weeks staying up later than I should and then feeling drained the next morning when I try to wake up for work. Day Light Savings sucks.